HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Next week is my 2nd year "birthday", marking 2 years since my Gastric Bypass Surgery.

In those 2 years, I have lost a total of 145lbs, gained 15lbs back, gone from a size 22/24 to a size 10/12, played roller derby, injured my kneed playing roller derby, consequently stopped playing roller derby, became an Executive Director of a non-profit organization, got married, got divorced, lost a number of friends/supporters, met some new lifetime friends, assisted others on their weight loss journey, shared my story with hundreds of people, fell in love again, cried openly, found a blog that at first glance could be mistaken for mine (http://losingoncemorewithsurgery.blogspot.com), had ANOTHER surgery (Gall Bladder), moved, bought a car, and I haven't even begun to explain how I feel! 
I can't thank you all enough for following my story, supporting my journey, and listening to my ramblings.

2011 was a year full of adventure and changes; 2012 will be a year to remember.

Happy New Year!

The Video is up!

As promised here is my testimonial for Dr. Ameri.  Thank you again to Sue for recording this for me!
Happy Holidays everyone!

Testifying!

Giving a testimonial was terrifying!  And yet, I got through it and it was awesome.  I'm going to get the video up as soon as I can, but I need to say a big, big thank you to all of my friends.  I have the most amazing support system.  And I have to say a very special thank you to my friend Sue.

Sue, thank you for coming to this meeting, supporting me throughout these recent tough months and taping my testimonial tonight.  It means a lot to me that I have you in my life.

To everyone I met tonight, you can do this.  You are going to get through this surgery and change your life.  If you need a pick me up, have questions, or just need to talk please contact me and I will do whatever I can to help.  Stay tuned for the video!

Who Are You?

I have been away for too long.

So much has happened and I don't have enough space to tell you about all of it. Let's start at the beginning...it has been 1 year and 11 months since my Gastric Bypass Surgery. My peak weight loss has been getting down to 150 for a total loss of 145lbs. (Almost as much as I weighed at that moment!) I am currently sitting at 170lbs. What is scary is that I've gained 20lbs since I hit my peak weight loss and at least half of it has to do with medication. It's tough to know that there is almost nothing I could do to take some of that weight off...it's just there...until I'm off the meds.

What are these meds that I need to take now. Birth Control. That's right, I'm on the pill again after 11 years! There are a number of reasons that people go back onto the pill, heavy periods, bad cramps, ridiculously bad clotting, and birth control. Since I wrote last I've gone through MANY changes...but the biggest is that I got a divorce.

That's right...Alex and I broke up after over 5 and a half years. She was such a source of support and encouragement for me. She made me feel good about who I was and where I was going. But I had fallen out of love with her...and needed to make sure that we were both going to love and be loved the way that we deserved. In June I breached the subject of breaking up and in September our divorce was final.

For the record, I love Alex and want NOTHING but the best for her...but I am not in love with her and I haven't been for some time.  Alex is amazing.  Everyone who meets her loves her, and I miss her every day.  I miss my friend, I miss my companion, and I miss my confidant.  But I do not miss Alex, my lover.  Luckily, we have a number of mutual friends and we still have a fur child to take care of, so I hear from and about her from time to time.  Alex, if you read this, I am happy that you are doing well and I honestly want nothing more than for you to be happy.  I'm sorry that I was not the person who you needed me to be.

To add some confusion to all of this, I am also in a new relationship.  I think that I was finally ready to find my other half, and although I was not looking for anyone to come into my life, this man side swiped me and my heart.  I have a boyfriend.

That's right world, I said boyfriend.

This person could have been anyone.  Please do not think that I left a woman because I needed to be with men.  I was with an amazing person for a long time...and I happened to find yet another amazing person who made my heart sing.  This second individual could have been a man or a woman, it just happened to be a man.  What I will say is that THIS man is very supportive, understands my past and my surgery circumstances, and has fallen in love with me.....and I with him...even though I have saggy extra skin and the face of a 16 year old boy.

OH YEAH! Did I mention that when I turned 31 in June I developed Cystic Acne? Awesome.

SO all of this sounds pretty bad...and seems to have NOTHING to do with my surgery. Well, in some ways you are right. But, I'm a confident woman now. The Lindsay of 2 years ago...fat Lindsay...would not have left Alex in order to be happy. I had become content with being ok. I had become content with the fact that I would never be 100% happy. I could live with only being happy 80%. That is NOT the way anyone should ever live. If I hadn't had my surgery I still would have come to that conclusion, just not as quickly. I would have stayed with Alex, and had a decent life where I was just ok...but not truly soulfully happy. Everyone needs to follow their heart, and a wise friend of mine told me that "Matters of the heart blondie, you can never control matters of the heart." And it's true.

At the end of all of this, anyone thinking about having gastric bypass, anyone supporting those having gastric bypass, think about where you are now and KNOW undoubtedly that it will change. I am not saying that everyone who has surgery will leave their loved ones...I'm not saying anything of the sort But what I am saying is that you are going to change. You are going to change in ways that you didn't think were humanly possible. Your boundaries, your fundamental beliefs, your ID can and will change. Be prepared...and have the a system around you to support you through this change.

Don't be afraid of who you are, who you were, or who you become. No one can be anyone other than themselves...and YOU are amazing.

Goals and the Future

Who doesn't make goals? I am pretty sure that we all do. But what happens when you reach that goal?

My goal of loosing 130lbs is complete. I've officially lost 140lbs...and yet I feel like I could loose another 5. Maybe another 10. Is that the weight loss curse?

Please do not misunderstand. I am amazed, thrilled, and in awe of the transformation that has taken place in me both outwardly and inwardly over the past year and 4 months. But I just can't escape the feeling that I have so much more to do. I am hoping that working towards having some skin removal surgery will help me feel better about this new body. The only thing I see when I take off my clothing is folded skin....which is gross by anyone's standards. But when I have clothing on I feel like a million bucks.

It's funny....I've been told by a number of people over the past couple of days that they never saw the big girl that I was. Honestly, neither did I. I was still flirty and being hit on by men and women. I was still going out and having fun. None of this has really changed since I have become smaller. I do notice more people looking at me and smiling now. But that's really it. Maybe personality can transcend the outward appearance of a person more than society lets on.

Do not get me wrong...there were always people who were laughing at the fat girl, or who judged me based on my weight. These are things that I only recognize in retrospect though, I didn't see it that way at the time. But someone who is friendly, and tries to assist you at any time, whether big or small, someone who smiles and laughs and treats you like an equal (or at least tries to) maybe that is what matters and what people remember. Not the fact that the person helping them is large.

What do you think about this? Everyone has had issues with weight one way or another. Whether you're trying to put it on or take it off. Have you ever experienced this phenomena? Do you think that size matters? (The size, aka weight, of a person...get your mind out of the gutter!)

Put your answers in the comments!

You Asked for It......

I've been getting requests for new comparison pictures so here they are!

HOLY COW!  I just amazed myself a little bit.  I don't think that I realized how different I looked...until now. 

Thanks for requests!

One Year? Really?

I'm pretty speechless.  No really, I don't know what to say.  Today marks my one year surgery anniversary.  One year.  WOW!

After one year of struggles, pain, trials, friendship, smiles, crying, melting, cooking, adjusting, and everything else I am 125lbs smaller than I was a year ago today.  I'm skating in the roller derby, something the old me couldn't do...coincidentally something that the new me can't do because of a sprained MCL...but that's a different story for a different day.  I'm MARRIED....not just engaged but married, (Yeah that happened this past Saturday, January 15th.  Sorry for the lack of post.  Go to our wedding blog for the information on that.)  WOW!

So what does Lindsay look like today?  Well, for starters she is a size 14 bottoms with a Large top in all stores...well, all stores except Lane Bryant....you know...the store I no longer have to shop in.  She has short blond hair.  She wears skinny jeans and short skirts.  Sometimes, well 2 times a week, she wears leggings with boy short underwear over them with roller skates.  This new Lindsay wears an Alexandrite and Diamond ring on her left ring finger.  She has a curly haired woman holding her right hand and a black and white kitty man who is usually curled up on her side.

New Lindsay likes going for walks.  She doesn't get to the top of the stairs and have to stop to catch her breath.  New Lindsay will race you down the street...and jump down the stairs.  New Lindsay looks more like her mother than her father, although Old Lindsay was basically her father with boobs.

New Lindsay does not miss the Old Lindsay, but LOVES who she has become and will always be thankful to the Old Lindsay for making her who she is today.

So, today on my surgery anniversary, or  my new birthday I introduce to you the New Lindsay.  Her name is Lindsay Alaimo-Fuentes and she loves her life and everyone and thing in it.

Thank you everyone for the support and love over the past year, and then some.  And thank you Old Lindsay for stepping aside to let the New Lindsay come through.

Changed for Good

110lbs Lost!  Can you believe it?  110lbs!  That is equivalent to my little sister....MORE than my little sister in fact!

I have been so amazed by this process and wouldn't change anything about it.  Sure the staples hurt at the beginning, but I feel like a new me!  Or rather like the REAL me has finally come out!

To celebrate my weight loss, well, not to celebrate my weight loss but I see it as a celebration, Alex and I went to see WICKED, the musical last week with 18 of our friends.  If you haven't seen the show you really need to, it's fantastic.  After the show Alex had gotten us a backstage tour which I was so excited for.  So, after the show, we all hang out waiting for the stage manager to come and get us, and when he shows up only Alex and I can go on stage.  I felt bad for everyone else, but Alex was the one with the contact, I guess 20 people is just too much. (What do I know right?) We go onstage....side note...we are at the Boston Opera House which is the most beautiful theater in Boston, in my opinion. 

While up there, I realize that all of my friends have their cameras out and are sitting in the front rows.  Weird, but I would be taking pictures of my friends onstage too so not THAT weird.  Well...after a few moments of taking it all in, Alex says to me "So hun, this is the moment.  This is the moment that I give myself to you officially."  It clicked...

Alex was PROPOSING!

On stage, at the Boston Opera House (the most beautiful theater in Boston, in my opinion), at WICKED (one of my two favorite shows of all time...which is about Witches!)  "Are you shitting me" was all I could say.
In the end, I said yes!  (duh) and she gave me a ring that screamed me, with Alexandrite and diamonds., Gratuitous picture of my beautiful ring will be here soon.

I'll post the video that was taken at the end of the post.  So what a year this has been.  It started with surgery, followed by my 30th birthday, being accepted as "Fresh-Meat" into the Central Mass Roller Derby League (that's a whole different post for later), and now being engaged.  The 10 months of 2010 have really been the best in my adult life, even with the surgery.  Because of it, I've made some new friends, and gotten a whole new lease on the life I was always meant to have.  I would say that this surgery was the best decision of my adult life.  I have definitely been changed for good!

Celebrating and Big Changes

What is worth celebrating you ask?  How about hitting 100lbs!!!!!!  As of today I officially weigh 192lbs.  Ok, that is MORE than 100lbs, 103 to be exact, but how exciting is that?  The weight-loss has really slowed down now, but still almost 8 months out I feel like a new woman.  

How about some before and after pictures to show you how different 7 months have made me...

      

WOW!  So this is OBVIOUSLY something that needs celebrating.   My Girlfriend made me a deal before I had surgery that when I lost 100lbs she would take me to get a facial.  Guess what I'm doing next week!  Thanks Alex!  You are the best girlfriend ever!

A while back I mentioned that my hair was also falling out, well I decided that it was time to do something about that.  ESPECIALLY since it was effecting Luna, my kitty man.  He eats the hair and it goes through his digestive tract leaving hair sticking out of his bum with little pieces of poop stuck to it....NOT FUN!  I decided it was time to do something drastic...

      

YUP!  I decided to have a glass of wine!  How drastic right?!?!  

Nah, I chopped off my hair today.  Here is a before and after with a picture from last night and another with my best friend Jeff who I've known since I was 14, and who is also my hairdresser.

    

So there you have it.  My weight has fallen off and now my hair has too!  :-)  Let me know what you think about the new look.  I have to say, I'm totally loving it!  You know that there will be more and more pictures as time goes on so keep coming back to see some more.  I'll be making sure I'm checking in more too.