The Video is up!

As promised here is my testimonial for Dr. Ameri.  Thank you again to Sue for recording this for me!
Happy Holidays everyone!

Testifying!

Giving a testimonial was terrifying!  And yet, I got through it and it was awesome.  I'm going to get the video up as soon as I can, but I need to say a big, big thank you to all of my friends.  I have the most amazing support system.  And I have to say a very special thank you to my friend Sue.

Sue, thank you for coming to this meeting, supporting me throughout these recent tough months and taping my testimonial tonight.  It means a lot to me that I have you in my life.

To everyone I met tonight, you can do this.  You are going to get through this surgery and change your life.  If you need a pick me up, have questions, or just need to talk please contact me and I will do whatever I can to help.  Stay tuned for the video!

Who Are You?

I have been away for too long.

So much has happened and I don't have enough space to tell you about all of it. Let's start at the beginning...it has been 1 year and 11 months since my Gastric Bypass Surgery. My peak weight loss has been getting down to 150 for a total loss of 145lbs. (Almost as much as I weighed at that moment!) I am currently sitting at 170lbs. What is scary is that I've gained 20lbs since I hit my peak weight loss and at least half of it has to do with medication. It's tough to know that there is almost nothing I could do to take some of that weight off...it's just there...until I'm off the meds.

What are these meds that I need to take now. Birth Control. That's right, I'm on the pill again after 11 years! There are a number of reasons that people go back onto the pill, heavy periods, bad cramps, ridiculously bad clotting, and birth control. Since I wrote last I've gone through MANY changes...but the biggest is that I got a divorce.

That's right...Alex and I broke up after over 5 and a half years. She was such a source of support and encouragement for me. She made me feel good about who I was and where I was going. But I had fallen out of love with her...and needed to make sure that we were both going to love and be loved the way that we deserved. In June I breached the subject of breaking up and in September our divorce was final.

For the record, I love Alex and want NOTHING but the best for her...but I am not in love with her and I haven't been for some time.  Alex is amazing.  Everyone who meets her loves her, and I miss her every day.  I miss my friend, I miss my companion, and I miss my confidant.  But I do not miss Alex, my lover.  Luckily, we have a number of mutual friends and we still have a fur child to take care of, so I hear from and about her from time to time.  Alex, if you read this, I am happy that you are doing well and I honestly want nothing more than for you to be happy.  I'm sorry that I was not the person who you needed me to be.

To add some confusion to all of this, I am also in a new relationship.  I think that I was finally ready to find my other half, and although I was not looking for anyone to come into my life, this man side swiped me and my heart.  I have a boyfriend.

That's right world, I said boyfriend.

This person could have been anyone.  Please do not think that I left a woman because I needed to be with men.  I was with an amazing person for a long time...and I happened to find yet another amazing person who made my heart sing.  This second individual could have been a man or a woman, it just happened to be a man.  What I will say is that THIS man is very supportive, understands my past and my surgery circumstances, and has fallen in love with me.....and I with him...even though I have saggy extra skin and the face of a 16 year old boy.

OH YEAH! Did I mention that when I turned 31 in June I developed Cystic Acne? Awesome.

SO all of this sounds pretty bad...and seems to have NOTHING to do with my surgery. Well, in some ways you are right. But, I'm a confident woman now. The Lindsay of 2 years ago...fat Lindsay...would not have left Alex in order to be happy. I had become content with being ok. I had become content with the fact that I would never be 100% happy. I could live with only being happy 80%. That is NOT the way anyone should ever live. If I hadn't had my surgery I still would have come to that conclusion, just not as quickly. I would have stayed with Alex, and had a decent life where I was just ok...but not truly soulfully happy. Everyone needs to follow their heart, and a wise friend of mine told me that "Matters of the heart blondie, you can never control matters of the heart." And it's true.

At the end of all of this, anyone thinking about having gastric bypass, anyone supporting those having gastric bypass, think about where you are now and KNOW undoubtedly that it will change. I am not saying that everyone who has surgery will leave their loved ones...I'm not saying anything of the sort But what I am saying is that you are going to change. You are going to change in ways that you didn't think were humanly possible. Your boundaries, your fundamental beliefs, your ID can and will change. Be prepared...and have the a system around you to support you through this change.

Don't be afraid of who you are, who you were, or who you become. No one can be anyone other than themselves...and YOU are amazing.

Goals and the Future

Who doesn't make goals? I am pretty sure that we all do. But what happens when you reach that goal?

My goal of loosing 130lbs is complete. I've officially lost 140lbs...and yet I feel like I could loose another 5. Maybe another 10. Is that the weight loss curse?

Please do not misunderstand. I am amazed, thrilled, and in awe of the transformation that has taken place in me both outwardly and inwardly over the past year and 4 months. But I just can't escape the feeling that I have so much more to do. I am hoping that working towards having some skin removal surgery will help me feel better about this new body. The only thing I see when I take off my clothing is folded skin....which is gross by anyone's standards. But when I have clothing on I feel like a million bucks.

It's funny....I've been told by a number of people over the past couple of days that they never saw the big girl that I was. Honestly, neither did I. I was still flirty and being hit on by men and women. I was still going out and having fun. None of this has really changed since I have become smaller. I do notice more people looking at me and smiling now. But that's really it. Maybe personality can transcend the outward appearance of a person more than society lets on.

Do not get me wrong...there were always people who were laughing at the fat girl, or who judged me based on my weight. These are things that I only recognize in retrospect though, I didn't see it that way at the time. But someone who is friendly, and tries to assist you at any time, whether big or small, someone who smiles and laughs and treats you like an equal (or at least tries to) maybe that is what matters and what people remember. Not the fact that the person helping them is large.

What do you think about this? Everyone has had issues with weight one way or another. Whether you're trying to put it on or take it off. Have you ever experienced this phenomena? Do you think that size matters? (The size, aka weight, of a person...get your mind out of the gutter!)

Put your answers in the comments!

One Year? Really?

I'm pretty speechless.  No really, I don't know what to say.  Today marks my one year surgery anniversary.  One year.  WOW!

After one year of struggles, pain, trials, friendship, smiles, crying, melting, cooking, adjusting, and everything else I am 125lbs smaller than I was a year ago today.  I'm skating in the roller derby, something the old me couldn't do...coincidentally something that the new me can't do because of a sprained MCL...but that's a different story for a different day.  I'm MARRIED....not just engaged but married, (Yeah that happened this past Saturday, January 15th.  Sorry for the lack of post.  Go to our wedding blog for the information on that.)  WOW!

So what does Lindsay look like today?  Well, for starters she is a size 14 bottoms with a Large top in all stores...well, all stores except Lane Bryant....you know...the store I no longer have to shop in.  She has short blond hair.  She wears skinny jeans and short skirts.  Sometimes, well 2 times a week, she wears leggings with boy short underwear over them with roller skates.  This new Lindsay wears an Alexandrite and Diamond ring on her left ring finger.  She has a curly haired woman holding her right hand and a black and white kitty man who is usually curled up on her side.

New Lindsay likes going for walks.  She doesn't get to the top of the stairs and have to stop to catch her breath.  New Lindsay will race you down the street...and jump down the stairs.  New Lindsay looks more like her mother than her father, although Old Lindsay was basically her father with boobs.

New Lindsay does not miss the Old Lindsay, but LOVES who she has become and will always be thankful to the Old Lindsay for making her who she is today.

So, today on my surgery anniversary, or  my new birthday I introduce to you the New Lindsay.  Her name is Lindsay Alaimo-Fuentes and she loves her life and everyone and thing in it.

Thank you everyone for the support and love over the past year, and then some.  And thank you Old Lindsay for stepping aside to let the New Lindsay come through.

Changed for Good

110lbs Lost!  Can you believe it?  110lbs!  That is equivalent to my little sister....MORE than my little sister in fact!

I have been so amazed by this process and wouldn't change anything about it.  Sure the staples hurt at the beginning, but I feel like a new me!  Or rather like the REAL me has finally come out!

To celebrate my weight loss, well, not to celebrate my weight loss but I see it as a celebration, Alex and I went to see WICKED, the musical last week with 18 of our friends.  If you haven't seen the show you really need to, it's fantastic.  After the show Alex had gotten us a backstage tour which I was so excited for.  So, after the show, we all hang out waiting for the stage manager to come and get us, and when he shows up only Alex and I can go on stage.  I felt bad for everyone else, but Alex was the one with the contact, I guess 20 people is just too much. (What do I know right?) We go onstage....side note...we are at the Boston Opera House which is the most beautiful theater in Boston, in my opinion. 

While up there, I realize that all of my friends have their cameras out and are sitting in the front rows.  Weird, but I would be taking pictures of my friends onstage too so not THAT weird.  Well...after a few moments of taking it all in, Alex says to me "So hun, this is the moment.  This is the moment that I give myself to you officially."  It clicked...

Alex was PROPOSING!

On stage, at the Boston Opera House (the most beautiful theater in Boston, in my opinion), at WICKED (one of my two favorite shows of all time...which is about Witches!)  "Are you shitting me" was all I could say.
In the end, I said yes!  (duh) and she gave me a ring that screamed me, with Alexandrite and diamonds., Gratuitous picture of my beautiful ring will be here soon.

I'll post the video that was taken at the end of the post.  So what a year this has been.  It started with surgery, followed by my 30th birthday, being accepted as "Fresh-Meat" into the Central Mass Roller Derby League (that's a whole different post for later), and now being engaged.  The 10 months of 2010 have really been the best in my adult life, even with the surgery.  Because of it, I've made some new friends, and gotten a whole new lease on the life I was always meant to have.  I would say that this surgery was the best decision of my adult life.  I have definitely been changed for good!

My Reaction to Life

So I lost someone very important to me today.  When I was at Regis College, the Dean of Students was like another mother.  Whenever I had a problem, or a question, or a comment, or just wanted to talk, or just wanted to complain, or just wanted a hug, I could go to her and she would be there.

This woman was Lynn Tripp Coleman.

She passed away today.  She gave in to a 6 year long battle to breast cancer.  I don't really know how to wrap my head around this news.  Unfortunately, I didn't talk to her much once I graduated in 2002.  I saw her at my 5 year reunion and we talked for a while but I didn't talk to her again after that.  She changed my life....and I miss her.

So, what does all of this have to do with my surgery journey?  Well for the first time since I had the surgery I just wanted to curl up in a ball with a pint of ice cream and a large alcoholic beverage.  What an automatic response huh?

Food has always been a comforter, a friend and a family member.  Someone to commiserate with, laugh with, cry with, be pissed off with...yeah, all that was with food.  How do I break that habit?  How do I stop thinking that I need a drink or some ice cream instead of going for a walk when I'm freaking out?  How do I stop that?

I think I still have some deep seeded issues to work out.  Time to call a therapist?  I think so.

In the end, what matters is that I was blessed to have such an amazing person in my life, even if only for a short period of time.  She is someone who will not only be missed but will leave a legacy of young women who are not afraid to ask for help, take charge of their lives, and are never afraid to love or to cry.  Lynn, I'm going to miss you, but I am grateful that my life was touched by you.  Rest in Peace and enjoy whatever is beyond.  Until I see you again....


Photo is from RegisCollege.net Student Affairs page. 

Where have I been?

I've been a little out of the loop with the blog for the past couple of weeks.  I have a whole lot of updating for you all, but I want to do it in a video, so.....here are some pictures from today to keep you going.

See you later in the week!

Me? Oh you want to hear about me?

Alright, so we are moving right along here. I haven't weighed myself in a few days so I have no update on that, but I was asked to report on how I'm feeling, so I thought this would be a nice time to do that.

As I've said before, I have been doing pretty well on a technical standpoint. I've actually been doing really well in every way. It's funny; I never thought I would feel ok with melting away. That's what a friend of mine calls it. She went through this surgery almost 2 years ago and told me that she watched parts of herself melt away for a couple of months and she was kind of thrown by that. I on the other hand am having no problem with this process. I'm happy to watch myself shrink and melt. At times it does feel a little interesting, but generally speaking I have had no problems with it.

Now my friends and co-workers might be having a problem with it. As I melt away, I have nothing to hold my clothing on. It makes even walking a bit dangerous. Well, dangerous in an "OMG My Pants Just Fell OFF" way. I feel like I'm constantly apologizing for pulling up my pants and accidentally showing people my underpants. That's a little bit embarrassing. But honestly, I'm happy to be embarrassed that my clothing is too big, instead of apologizing for bumping into everything or asking people to move because I can't "sneak past" without hitting people with my stomach or chest.

So as I melt away, other things are happening. The first is that I never feel hungry anymore. I'm constantly feeling here and content. There was one day that I actually forgot to "eat" anything other than my 8oz. protein shake until 10pm and Alex was asking me what I had that day. Food is just not something I'm even thinking about anymore. It's weird, after years of having food rule my life; food has nothing to do with my day to day anymore. And, I don't care. That's the best part. Now, don't get me wrong, just yesterday a pizza guy was walking into my friend's building at the same time as we were and I felt like a cartoon character who was following their nose and floating after the food. However, it's my remembrance of that food that I miss, not the food itself. If I could recreate those flavors in a soup, I would be very happy. Additionally, my stomach NEVER shuts up. It is constantly gurgling....which is embarrassing and HILARIOUS! I just take it as my new "baby" pouch just wants to say hi to the world. IT'S all good. For this girl who has said she never wanted kids, I ended up with a very vocal baby.

I guess in the end, I've had a ridiculous amount of support. My amazing girlfriend Alex doesn't eat solid food in the house, so I never have the temptation here. My friends have stopped eating dinner or anything during our Sunday night gatherings. Even my co-workers try not to eat in front of me, though the food that they are eating often smells AMAZING.

So with that, I'm going to go have some cottage cheese with peaches, because guess what? Phase 2, so far, is AMAZING!  Thank you again to everyone who has been supporting me throughout this. I am so happy to have all of you in my life.

And to answer the question I have been asked so many times; Yes, I am happy that I did this.  Yes, I am excited to see what happens to me physically; and yes, I am feeling better everyday.

YIPPIE!

So plateau be damned.  I just needed to tell all of you about it, because yesterday the scale moved! 
It's official...30lbs. 
Just thought that I would let you all know.

YIPPEEE!

Staples, diets and Luna.

I was REALLY long winded this week.  Enjoy both videos.   :-)

Part 1




Part 2

So Tired

How tired am I? I'm so tired that I haven't been able to blog. UG! I hate that.

I've returned to work part-time working 10 to 3 each day and have found that I am having an extremely difficult time keeping my energy level up enough to do much of anything when I return home. As soon as I get here, I instantly pass out. In fact, on Wednesday, my first day back, I got home from my 5 hour day at work and slept....for 3 HOURS! Each day, my sleeping after work has gotten less and less, but my exhaustion has not subsided.

Working has been interesting, I don't know if I've mentioned this yet, but I'm having a hard time remembering things on a regular basis. Daily I'm doing things like walking into the back room at the office only to forget what I needed. At least 3 or 4 times a day....and I'm only working 5 hour days!

I feel useless being there. I can't lift any equipment, I can't bend all the way over to pick things up off the floor, and I can't sit for super long periods of time without getting either gas pain or pain in the area of my scars. Never mind the bathroom runs. See how much YOU need to go to the bathroom, when you are on a liquid diet. Yeah, you go a lot. I also feel really bad. I want to be able to help out at work and be there 100% but I just can't do it. I don't have the ability to stay awake after working so hard, I have to ask my members to move equipment for me, as I cannot. I'm lucky that my boss is so wonderful and understanding or I would be in quite a pickle.

Maybe one day soon I'll be more complete and able to work. Let's hope that day comes sooner, rather than later.

OH, on another note, I think I've become lactose intolerant since the surgery. With that being said, I am so sorry to anyone out there who is lactose intolerant. Having never having to worry about this before I had NO idea how horrible it was to go through this process. I'm telling you, my bum has seen many better days. Sorry for the TMI.

Home now

Alex came and took me home yesterday.  I was the first of my small group to come in, and the last one to leave.  Isn't that always the way?

There is still pain, there is still unbelievable pain, mostly at the drainage site  but it's been made a lot easier by a phenomenal group of nurses and case assistants, and by a group of friends that I've made over the last week. Cissy, Sarah, Christine and I have formed a bit of an alliance. LOL. Well, it's more like a parade. Everyone on the A3 floor would wave to us and cheer us on. The cleaning staff encouraged us to dance down the hall and would dance a little bit to encourage us. There was a patient at the other end of the hall, this nice older lady who had major surgery, but would walk down to our end of the hall specifically to check up on all of us. I've got to say, it was inspirational to see how people band together and support each other in a place like that.

I'm eternally thankful to the staff of floor A3. Thank you to the nurses who encouraged us to get up and walk and continued to give us the shots we asked them to skip just this once. Thank you to the case assistants who took our vital signs like clockwork, even at 4 in the morning when we were passed out and cranky, or when we were in so much pain calling them seemed like the only thing we could do. (And we did that A LOT!) Thank you to Dr. Ameri and his staff for doing an amazing job with all of us. (And Dr. Sabor for Chirstine) Thank you to the other patients on the floor who made me smile when we walked around, and who would share their incredible stories with us when we would stop. Thank you to all of my friends and family who came to visit me in the hospital, or who called Alex to get an update on my condition, or who just sent me a message letting me know that they were thinking about me. I never would have gotten through this without you.

And last but certainly not least, thank you to my walking friends. To Christine, who shared her mother and sister with us. Watching your experience, since it was so drastically different than ours was a learning tool for us. Listening to you and how you were adjusting was amazing, thank you.

To Sarah, my pre-op buddy. We didn't end up being roomies, and in the end it was ok. I think if we were roomies we wouldn't have met our other 2 buddies, and it was fabulous making a larger support group. Your texts in the middle of random procedures, like getting a draining tube removed, made me laugh until it hurt. I love that I have someone to run things by and talk to about all of this. You are definitely a life friend. Thank you.

To Cissy, my roommate. Girl, you kill me! I'm so sorry that I made you laugh so much that you thought that your staples were going to pop. But thank you for sharing your babies, you hot boy ;-) and your stories at 11 at night with me. Thank you for getting all dolled up for me on our last day. Pretty lady!  I hope that you keep in touch.  It's going to be amazing to watch your journey. 

I know that the 4 of us are going to make it through this successfully.  In 10 years we are going to look back and laugh about our times at Winchester Hospital, while we are all skinny and fabulous!   (Not that we aren't already)

I'm so happy that I met the 3 of you in the process. We all have the same, new birthday and the same new lives coming. I can't wait to watch and share this with you ladies!

Water.....1/20/10

It's day #3 in the hospital. Things have been going really well so far. Yesterday was the worst day though.

This is the deal; after your surgery you wake up with a binding on your stomach, to keep your stitches steady. Also, coming out of one of the stitched areas is a drain. It drains out small amounts of blood and any other liquid that is building up. (Gross I know) So they have to empty the drain a few times a day. Most of the time, it is not a big deal. The drain looks like a water balloon that is plastic, so it has a plug in it that opens easily. The problem is that every now and again they need to "strip the tube" that comes out of your belly into the drain. Basically, they hold onto the end closest to your tummy, and then they take the nail and squeeze the tube until they get to the drain. The process only takes a few seconds, and it helps keep the drain from getting clotted. This is EXTREMELY painful. The pain was so much that I was bent over for a few hours yesterday before I could get my pain meds again. It was horrible.

That is all I have wanted since Monday. I need water more than I can express. Swabbing your mouth just is not the same as actually drinking something. It's just a tease....hold on here comes the nurse.

15 minutes later....I was just given my first little tiny sip of water in 3 days. OMG that was the best thing ever. I knew that I was thirsty but I had NO idea I was that thirsty! They give us 6 cups that are 2 Tbsp apiece. I'm on my second round and am SO happy....SO happy.

It's DONE!

A message from Linz, hours after surgery...

:)

It's Time!

OMG! How fast did these 2 weeks fly by? I am 10 hours away from going to the hospital and a little less than 12 hours away from the actual surgery. For the record, I’ve been mildly freaking out today....so much so that I made Alex help me rearrange our living room. (Yup....that's stress!)

This part of the journey has been something. The worrying, the hunger, the frustration...you name it, I've felt it. And yet throughout this process, I can't help but feeling humbled the most. That must sound weird, I'm going through a HUGE life changing surgery and yet I can't help but feel so blessed to have such amazing people in my life. Today, I posted on my facebook a status update that basically said "OMG!!!! 1 day!!!" and I received 19 comments in less than an hour! I posted again a few hours later to comment about my 12 hour mark and again received almost 20 comments! WOW.

You have all shared your stories, fears, support and love with me and for that I am thankful. So, this post is all about my saying thank you. I really could not have gotten through these past few weeks without all of you. Please keep the positivity and love coming this way. This journey has only just begun, and I know that I am going to continue to need all of you. Much love.

On another quick note; in 2 weeks I have lost 14 pounds. Sitting at 281. Here are a few pictures of me today.

I guess, in the end, this is it! Am I mourning food, one of my best friends, greatest confidants, and the best therapist? Hell yea I am. Am I tired because I have nothing but liquid in my system? Check on that as well. However, at this moment, I have a sort of peace with it all. Of course I'm scared. I have NO idea what is coming! If I wasn't afraid I would be abnormal. But in the end this is the first day of the rest of my life isn't it? A life that is going to be filled with energy, filled with love, filled with feeling beautiful, and (hopefully) filled with my dream of being a Roller Derby Girl! (I know random, but I wouldn't be able to do it right now and I SO want to! I've obsessed over it for the past 3 years...but that's a different story for a different day.)

All I know is that I can no longer be afraid of what I do not know. This surgery is going to go amazingly well. I know that, you know that and my surgeon is positive of that. So, all I can do now is trust in my doctors and nurses to do the absolute best work that they can do. Whatever happens from here is going to happen, so no regrets, no fears, and no tears.

So, with that I'm off! Wish me luck. ;-)

3 days and counting...

Monday is fast approaching and I am freaking out a little bit more each day. I keep having these moments....they are not long and they don't even last a few seconds....but I keep thinking, I don't need this. I can do this on my own. Who wants surgery anyway? In the end I am FULLY aware of the power of fear, and that is all this is. This surgery is going to change my life! It's totally worth it!

Today was my last day at work with my co-workers. I'm going to be in the office tomorrow to help out with a shoot, but otherwise I'm done. I'm on a 2 week "vacation". WOW! How time flies. I just finished my testing, or so I thought. I didn't expect all of this to move so quickly. I really thought that over 6 months of prepping would take longer. Maybe like 2 years or so. LOL. But none the less, in 3 days I will be undergoing major surgery and I have to say, the outcry of support that I have received has been amazing.

I received an email today about a healing group that I participate in. Every month they send out a list of people who need healing and you meditate and send them some healing energy to aid them through whatever they are going through. It's a really nice program. Well, today's list came for this month and I was at the top of the list! I had no idea that anyone would put me on that list....and I was truly honored. I've been so blessed to have my friends and family come out and share stories, insecurities, and strengths with me. I'm hoping to be able to return the favor one day.

So, with 3 days left, I am left scared, excited and humbled. Thank you for all of your love, and keep on sending that positivity my way. It's helping more than you all know.

Stay with me...."I'll be back" ;-)

Staying on the Wagon.

I have to go back to my usual taping location. Sorry about the graininess of this one.

Parties and Mourning

This weekend presented me with my first food test… and I barely survived.

On Saturday, my whole family gathered at my mother’s house to celebrate my sister Violet and our Uncle Henry's birthdays. My mother put together a beautiful spread. Cheese platter with salami, a HUGE veggie platter, chicken wings, steak tips, shrimp, bread with butter and... OMG my mouth is watering just thinking about it!

My mother even waited until everyone showed up to begin cooking everything. In that moment, I honestly didn't think I was going to make it through the day. I was ready to go home... or eat a bunch of chicken wings! What I did was leave the kitchen, and sit in the living room, by myself. So not only did I have to seperate myself from my whole family, but I sat on a chair and stared at a TV I could barely hear. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. Once the food was put away I was relatively ok. (I helped put the cheese plate away just so I could lick my fingers and get a taste of the cheese.)

So sure, I passed my first test, however Sunday was almost as bad as Saturday, if not worse.

I've read a number of times that people who have Gastric Bypass Surgery end up mourning food. Food is supposedly a friend and a family member to them... and when I read this I thought it was ridiculous. It didn't take me long to think about it a little more and realize how much my life revolved around food. Whenever I hang out with my friends I suggest we go out to eat. When friends come over, we plan a meal, or snacks. When we go to a friends home we plan food or drinks to bring! Now I can't do that. Now I need to be able to sit in a room filled with foods that I thoroughly enjoy and miss but not eat any of it.

So yeah, I was REALLY down on Sunday. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I felt super depressed. I couldn't figure out why until late in the day. We went to our weekly "family night" where we hang out with friends and I realized I missed eating with people. I missed staying in the kitchen and munching on stuff while I talked. I missed my glass (or 3) of wine. I miss every aspect of food! Staying home curled in my blanket sounded like a WONDERFUL plan.... for the next few weeks. All because of how much I wanted something to chew.

This is something I'm obviously going to have to get over. Luckily, I have 9 more weeks of this to help me get used to it.

Aren't you jealous?

My surgery date and time.

OMG! We are getting so close now. I just got out of some pre-op testing and have the time of my surgery. So Monday, January 18th at 7:30am I am having Gastric Bypass surgery. I will be at Wincester Hospital in Winchester, MA and I am FREAKING OUT! More on all of this later.

Please send all of your prayers, healing energy and happy healthy thoughts my way.