Parties and Mourning

This weekend presented me with my first food test… and I barely survived.

On Saturday, my whole family gathered at my mother’s house to celebrate my sister Violet and our Uncle Henry's birthdays. My mother put together a beautiful spread. Cheese platter with salami, a HUGE veggie platter, chicken wings, steak tips, shrimp, bread with butter and... OMG my mouth is watering just thinking about it!

My mother even waited until everyone showed up to begin cooking everything. In that moment, I honestly didn't think I was going to make it through the day. I was ready to go home... or eat a bunch of chicken wings! What I did was leave the kitchen, and sit in the living room, by myself. So not only did I have to seperate myself from my whole family, but I sat on a chair and stared at a TV I could barely hear. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. Once the food was put away I was relatively ok. (I helped put the cheese plate away just so I could lick my fingers and get a taste of the cheese.)

So sure, I passed my first test, however Sunday was almost as bad as Saturday, if not worse.

I've read a number of times that people who have Gastric Bypass Surgery end up mourning food. Food is supposedly a friend and a family member to them... and when I read this I thought it was ridiculous. It didn't take me long to think about it a little more and realize how much my life revolved around food. Whenever I hang out with my friends I suggest we go out to eat. When friends come over, we plan a meal, or snacks. When we go to a friends home we plan food or drinks to bring! Now I can't do that. Now I need to be able to sit in a room filled with foods that I thoroughly enjoy and miss but not eat any of it.

So yeah, I was REALLY down on Sunday. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I felt super depressed. I couldn't figure out why until late in the day. We went to our weekly "family night" where we hang out with friends and I realized I missed eating with people. I missed staying in the kitchen and munching on stuff while I talked. I missed my glass (or 3) of wine. I miss every aspect of food! Staying home curled in my blanket sounded like a WONDERFUL plan.... for the next few weeks. All because of how much I wanted something to chew.

This is something I'm obviously going to have to get over. Luckily, I have 9 more weeks of this to help me get used to it.

Aren't you jealous?